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JOKE 1
A man is in a casino playing
blackjack, and he's been dealt 16. His whole life savings are on the
game...
He's too scared to decide what to do, when a genie appears.
"Ask for a card," the genie whispers.
The man hesitates, then draws a 3. He's going to stick, when the genie
whispers - "Ask for a card."
The man draws an ace. He's *sure* he'll stick now, but the genie
insists: "Ask for a card!"
The man draws a card - another ace - he's got 21!
The genie exclaims "Ooo, you lucky bastard!"
JOKE 2
At a posh Las Vegas casino, a blackjack dealer and a player with a 13
count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it is appropriate
to tip the dealer. The player says, "When I get bad cards, it's not
the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer
obviously has nothing to do with that either, so why should I tip
him?"
The dealer replies, "When
you eat at a restaurant do you tip the waiter?"
"Yes," the gambler concedes.
"Well then, he serves you
food; whether it's good or bad isn't up to him. By the same token, I'm
serving you cards, so you should tip me."
"Okay," says the gambler, "but the waiter gives me what I ask for.
I'll take an 8."
JOKE 3
Q: When is the only time you split tens?
A: When the table is full and your buddies need a seat.
JOKE 4
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When
I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that
says:
"If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six.
The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
JOKE 5
I was once asked this question by a
dealer after someone complained about their terrible luck for the
umpteenth time:
"Do you know the difference between a blackjack player and a puppy?"
Of course I didn't know the difference so she answered for me, "after
six weeks, a puppy stops whining".
JOKE 6
One of the Strip's Casinos, crowded BJ
Table, dealer makes hand after hand beating everybody hardly.
One of the players doesn't stand: please, don't strip us down it's
embarrassing.
No worries, don't forget that we're on the STRIP, Sir - replies the
dealer. |
